Noah Page 14

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  “We’re making dessert,” Teagan announced to Bella and Will, who milled nearby. “Go play, and we’ll call you when we’re ready.”

  “When you need help?” Will asked.

  “Please,” Bella begged.

  “Maybe,” Noah answered. “Go make yourself gone.”

  Both ran from the room, and Teagan clucked with her tongue.

  “What?”

  She gave an approving glance. “I think I just saw the look?”

  “Do you like that?” He grinned. “I’ve been working on my I-mean-business stare.”

  “Impressive.” Teagan pulled the reusable grocery bag from the freezer and set it on the counter before extracting two containers of ice cream and one of hand-cranked peanut butter with a label from the small organic grocery store.

  Noah watched as she moved through Lainey’s kitchen as though it were her own, pulling out the blender and finding a spatula with ease.

  “My next look goes something like this.” He scrunched his forehead, grimacing, letting his mouth gape, and squeezed his eyes shut.

  Teagan paused. “Hmm. What are you trying to convey?”

  “How I appreciate that Bella uses words that appear on college entrance exams, but please wait until I’ve had my coffee and have my dictionary in hand.”

  “In that case”—she lifted her spatula, tapping it in the air—”you nailed it.”

  They laughed, and he perched against the edge of the counter. “Do you need any help?”

  She made a face.

  “That’s your no-thank-you you’re-never-living-the-casserole-down face?”

  “And I nailed it too.” She made the same spatula gesture

  He pretended to glare out the window at the next-door neighbor. “Lainey had told me I could trust whoever that is.”

  “Oh, you can trust Mrs. Eller.”

  “Uh-huh.”

  “But you can also trust her to call 9-1-1 if there is even a question that the authorities might need to be involved.” Teagan puttered about the kitchen. “If you think about it, that’s not so bad of a quality to have in a neighbor.”

  Noah fake grumbled. “Don’t most nosy neighbors knock on your door with a Bundt cake?”

  “She probably had the Bundt cake ready when she saw your house burning down.”

  Noah grabbed a hand towel and playfully snapped Teagan’s wrist. “This is how rumors start.”

  She stole the towel and tossed it on the counter.

  He chuckled. “What are you making, anyway? Chocolate milkshakes?”

  Teagan busied herself. “A Lainey favorite.”

  Noah picked up the carton of ice cream. Except it wasn’t. “Hold on. What is this?” Coconut milk frozen dessert. Chocolate flavored. He cocked his head, confused. “Coconut milk frozen dessert?” He set the carton down, inspecting the one next to it. Almond milk. Chocolate. “Milk? From almonds?”

  “I’m making milkshakes.”

  “You need ice cream to make milkshakes.”

  She stopped giving another look that he was going to have to master one day and set up the blender. “Don’t knock it until you try it. The kids love it.”

  Maybe the kids needed a taste test. “Almond milk?”

  “And it’s far healthier than regular ice cream.”

  “Regular ice cream? Babe, they don’t even print ice cream on the label. Frozen dessert.”

  “Now wouldn’t be the right time to work babe into the conversation, hot stuff.” Teagan removed the lid from each container. “Besides, I prefer the coconut ice cream over regular stuff.”

  “Hmm,” he grumbled, not believing that for a hot second. “You know the fat is what makes a steak taste good. No fat, bad steak. Probably stands true for ice cream.”

  “That’s really gross if you think about it.” Teagan stuck her tongue out. “Forget the fact that it’s probably better for you. It tastes better.”

  Consider him unconvinced. “Explain to me what part of the almond was milked.”

  Teagan ignored him, popping off the lid of the peanut butter.

  He chuckled. “I’m aware of how cows are milked. Eagle’s Ridge High School did a so-so job of explaining how newborns are nursed.” He winked. “Adequately enough that I could one day give the birds and the bees talk. If a certain someone ever let me.”

  She snickered, blushing.

  “I could even walk us back every step, all the way to the goat, if you placed a slice of goat cheese on a plate and asked how it was made.” Noah picked up the almond milk container and shook his head. “But you’ve got me on this. Maybe I missed that day in biology.”

  Teagan turned for the silverware drawer and extracted a spoon. In one smooth move, she scooped a mouthful of chocolate almond milk frozen dessert and shoved it in his trap.

  He laughed around the spoon, watching her more than he tasted what she tried to choke him with. Then he tasted it, and his smile doubled. “This is good.”

  “I know.”

  “I mean, really.” Noah turned the spoon over and licked it. He wouldn’t have known the difference between this treat and the real thing, and he reached for the coconut ice cream.

  Teagan snapped her hand towel against his spoon. “No double dipping, good-looking.”

  “Ahhh, okay.” Somehow he choked down his immediate response to argue for more ice cream and walked the few steps for another spoonful. Besides, they were all family and friends. Germs were germs. He got it. But they also shared a closeness that was like family, that deep connection that far surpassed any friendship he’d ever experienced. And the kids were like brother and sister even though they weren’t, much as he and Lainey had been.

  Noah tossed his used spoon into the sink as Teagan dumped the peanut butter into the blender. He dug out a scoop of the coconut ice cream. It was just as smooth and creamy as any other ice cream he’d had before. “This is good too. Maybe a little creamier.”

  “It’s my favorite.”

  He tried to double dip again, and she swatted him away again.

  Noah put his spoon in the sink. “Lainey used to make this for them?”

  “She did.” Teagan leaned against the counter, eyeing him with what he was sure was her school counselor assessment—kind and understanding while searching for what might lie underneath. “Lainey was one of the first in the medical field out here to bring the latest information to schools and doctors. Funny, nutrition isn’t a part of many medical programs, and that was important to her.”

  Noah mumbled.

  “She did a lot of good, Noah. Raised a great deal of awareness on many issues.”

  He crossed his arms. “A lot of good that did her. No microwave and nondairy ice cream.” He wanted to be mad, but there was nothing but an empty sadness.

  Teagan put the empty peanut butter container down and leaned against his chest. “She helped, and just because she was aware of many things, that doesn’t mean she knew everything. Knowledge couldn’t inoculate her against everything.”

  His chest hurt. A million ideas had been passed to him on how best to memorialize Lainey in the community. Some had suggested fundraisers while others tossed out the idea of an event like a gala or a fun run. Terrific ideas, but they weren’t Lainey.

  Noah had decided the best way to honor his cousin was to raise Bella as best he could. In a way that Lainey would have most wanted. He could do more good by sending another Lainey into the world than he could by raising a couple of thousand dollars.

  Still it hurt. She helped everyone else and did everything right, except when she didn’t, then Lainey didn’t get a second chance.

  Noah rested his chin on top of Teagan’s head. “She had regrets. I don’t know if she told that to anyone else.”

  Teagan shook her head. “No.”

  “She wouldn’t have burdened anyone with that.” He sucked in a deep breath. “That’s who she was. Strong. A caretaker until she died.”

  “I know,” Teaga
n whispered.

  “She knew there was something wrong but ignored it until she couldn’t pretend the symptoms weren’t there.”

  Teagan cursed quietly.

  “What does that leave us with? That she was stubborn, and it destroyed more than she saved?” She was a nurse, for crying out loud! Even if her cancer and symptoms were rare in her demographic, it still struck. Noah had fought many a night for sleep, wondering why she’d ignored symptoms of cancer that she could easily have diagnosed in men twice her age. But she was too young, too giving, to be an outlier.

  Teagan shook her head. “Don’t be angry at her. Please.”

  Maybe that was this feeling in his chest. “Why?”

  “I don’t know. Find a purpose in it, Noah. Or remember what she’s given us. Love. Laughter. Bella.”

  His eyes burned. “True.”

  “Maybe there’s more than even that. A greater gift that she imparted so her death isn’t senseless.”

  “Like what?” His voice cracked.

  “A lesson. Not to ignore the signs life gives us. That it doesn’t matter when or how or why. There is no explaining a time line or its cause.” Teagan wiped at her face. “You just accept it now or deal with that later.”

  Noah gathered Teagan in his arms, comforted by her warm hug and the wisdom in her words. He realized that what Teagan had said didn’t apply only to health. Her words should be applied to life as well.

  Noah wasn’t just preparing Bella to be a little Lainey, ready to take on the world. He couldn’t explain the intensity or quickness of it, but as he breathed in the familiar scent of her perfume, Noah knew he was holding his future.

  He couldn’t see the path. They hadn’t even made it through dessert of their nondate dinner. But why deny what was there?

  Noah kissed the top of her head again and gave Teagan a squeeze. “Our fake ice cream is going to melt.”

  She sniffled, laughing. “It’s not fake, silly.”

  “Whatever it is, it tastes good.”

  As they stepped apart, Bella and Will wandered into the kitchen, their eyes drawn to the ingredients on the counter. Both went from calm to excited in two steps.

  “Can we help?” Will asked.

  Bella was already tugging a chair over. “We can help.”

  Amused, he let Teagan hop back to it as the kids took over the cartons and spatulas. They made short work of dumping the now-soupy frozen dessert into the blender.

  “Take it easy.” Teagan motioned with her hands to slow the rambunctious crew.

  Noah stepped closer. They hadn’t even had their milkshakes yet, and just the sight of the ingredients made Bella and Will hyper.

  “Will, hang on,” Teagan ordered as her son headed toward the wall with the plug.

  Teagan held the blender’s lid as she snaked Will off the counter.

  Bella’s pointer finger rose, and the room turned to slow motion as Noah reached for her. “Bella, wait—”

  Too late.

  The blender’s whirl screamed a second before the cold splatter sprayed the room. Liquefied frozen chocolate slung across Noah’s face, into his hair and covering his eyes.

  Both kids screamed, turning into squeals, and Teagan’s yell had joined them as both he and she raced to the blender, slapping it off.

  Finally, the motor silenced. The whirling noise stopped. There was nothing but the quiet, heavy drip, drip, drip of coconut-and-almond-milk melted mess.

  Noah swiped his face, glancing at Teagan. She was coated in chocolate. Her hair dripped with ice cream and small chunks of peanut butter. Every time Noah blinked, he had chocolate sludge stuck between his eyelashes.

  No one made a sound as he wiped his face off again.

  “Oh no,” Will said quietly.

  “We’re sorry,” Bella tacked on.

  There was likely a section in every parenting resource that he’d ever read that dealt with this very situation. Teagan could likely write it.

  A glob of chocolate fell from the ceiling, splattering onto the floor. He didn’t move his face, but he let his eyes roam. The chocolate disaster was bad—but worse, or funnier, both kids were standing still like statues. Their arms were midmove, and milkshake dripped off them.

  Soupy, liquefied chocolate dripped into the corners of his mouth. He fought the urge to lick his lips. Teagan shook her hands, and globs of peanut butter slipped off, thwunking on the wet floor.

  His chest rumbled. He snorted, chocolate going up his nose.

  Noah couldn’t take it anymore. A plop of chocolate fell off a cabinet, landing between him and Teagan, then she shrieked, slapping her hands over her chocolate-covered mouth to hide the hilarity. Noah walked over to her, shaking his head, unable to keep a straight face. As nondates went, this one would go down in the record books.

  “Eww, Will licked me,” Bella cried out.

  Then Noah lost it. He couldn’t stop laughing. Teagan fell apart, pressing her dripping head to his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her.

  When she took a breath, he took her sticky, wet hand. “Welcome to my life, babe. Can I use that word right now?”

  “Yup, go ahead.”

  “If I can’t live down the casserole, this one’s on you.”

  Then it took everything he had not to kiss her.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  The master bedroom would have anything that Teagan needed—including a shower—and Noah couldn’t shake the laugh from his chest at the sight of her face when the blender exploded with the chocolate shake.

  He might not live down the oven, but he’d certainly planned on teasing her about the dessert fiasco. Seemed fair. Cleanup duty had gone far beyond anything he’d anticipated.

  “Hey, you.” She quietly knocked on the bedroom door before walking in then rolled her eyes at herself. “Kids are asleep after I promised them large ice cream floats tomorrow.”

  “On one condition.”

  “Hmm?”

  “I make them, and you’re on cleanup duty.”

  She laughed. “Absolutely walked into that and will never live that down. Will I?”

  “Yeah, I don’t think so.” He shook his head, trying to hide his laughter. Teagan’s shirt and jeans were covered in smeared-dry chocolate ice cream.

  “Don’t laugh. You don’t look much better.”

  He looked down, smirking. “I think your pants got the worst of it.”

  “But I’m pretty sure your hair’s held up by sugar, not gel.”

  He leaned back, walked a couple of steps, and glanced in the mirror. “Maybe I missed a spot.”

  “Right here.” She pointed. “And here.” Laughing, she came closer and touched his ear and neck. “And here, and here—”

  And he didn’t care. Noah wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her in front of him. They were finally alone, and he’d said a lot earlier in the store, a lot that he didn’t know what to do with, but he did know that he was dying to get his mouth on her again. “I’m glad you’re here.”

  Teagan nodded. “I am too.”

  Chocolate-scented air and sticky skin sounded like fun, but in reality, maybe not for tonight. Maybe it was a sign he needed to listen to. Something to tell him to put on the brakes.

  Squeezing her close, he rested his chin on top of her head, hating that he was going to pull away from her. “Why don’t you take a shower?”

  He let go, grinding his molars when her fingers scraped against his sides.

  “You don’t want to go first?” she asked.

  He wanted a million things having to do with that shower. But going first or second wasn’t anywhere on the list.

  “Towels are in here if you need more.” He walked to the closet next to the bathroom. “And just make yourself comfortable. I don’t really use this room much, anyway.”

  Teagan’s eyes stayed on him while he pulled out a washcloth and tossed everything into the bathroom.

  “Otherwise, you good?”

  “I ruined tonight, didn’t I?”
she asked. “I don’t know how you’re used to things, but this probably isn’t how you pictured anything.”

  Her standing in front of him, getting ready to shower. Yeah, it was how he pictured everything, actually. The fun. The family. The kids. All of it overwhelmed him in a way he couldn’t explain, and that made him uncomfortable, but not with her. With what he might have missed out on, and what it took him to stumble into a missing link in his life. “You didn’t ruin a thing, Teagan.”

  “I’m trying to read your mind, and my superpowers are failing me.”

  He crossed the room and took her hand, having no idea how to answer when he didn’t understand how two people could collide in such a profound way. “Tonight’s been one of those nights that makes me feel like the darkest hurt and the hardest challenges happen for a reason.”

  He didn’t want to kiss her—didn’t want her to think this was about stripping her naked and getting her in bed. Hell, he didn’t know what he needed to do, so he spun her around to spend time with his words, and shower off.

  They needed to get clean so they could get dirty. It was that simple. Standing here and talking was too emo heavy for him, especially when all he could think was that life sure came at you fast.

  ###

  If Teagan hadn’t been sure about the day’s date, she’d have sworn she was hormonal. He nearly had her in tears on the way to the shower. Noah was being careful with her because of their kids, but she hadn’t realized how much he was hurting because of Lainey. She should have known.

  But she was a respite from that pain? It made her heart soar. Everything about him did, and for every foot higher that she climbed, she also found Noah immensely more attractive. Who knew that was possible? But the combination of a man with a heart and a rock-solid body had turned her into mush.

  She ran the shower and quickly washed off the remaining chocolate from her skin and shampooed her hair. The soap smelled like him, and the steamy air swirled with a delicious need to be with him. Physically.

  As the water beaded on her skin and the rivulets flowed off, she wondered how he would look in there with her too. Gah! She was finished and slapped the water off after taking perhaps the shortest shower of her life.